What are the Ratios?

What is the ratio between male dominants and female submissives?

There is really only one truthful answer, no one not only knows but no one could even possibly know.

You see here is the problem with any statistic you see or coming up with numbers on your own from seeing some statistics on a cyber site or turnout at your local community, it is still only a sub set and how does one define a dominant or a submissive. Because when people try or what is really going on pretend to answer such a question they just naturally love to put the best spin on it. So you will see the word “real” inserted before the answer as in real dominants and not the wannabes. Submissives can also be guilty of a little self serving wanting few as possible to make one feel more special.

I do though want to take to task the two most common answers out there.

1) Women submissives are out numbered by male dominants two to one. This statistic is often cited from the online numbers. My biggest point to this is that men are much more prone to have a profile in cyber and to actively search out someone. Women traditionally are more social and more leery of online and much more likely to seek out their local community, make friends in it and stay active compared to men. My personal experience in local communities is that it is not even remotely close to the two to one ratio quoted.

2) Male dominants once you take out all the fake and dangerous are out numbered by female submissives ten to one. That is right ladies and gentlemen ten to one! In all candor if a man uses that statistic it is a red flag. If they use that statistic and can only talk about toys then it is a huge red flag. This is used to make one look special and if their private boys club talks this way enough some men are stupid and egocentric enough to buy it as fact.

You see why it is absolutely impossible to guess the ratio is to just think what you are and what do you want. For example how many are looking for bedroom submission only? How many are looking for M/s 24/7 TPE? How many are looking for a Take in hand relationship? How many are looking for casual or long term? This can go on and on. Basically anyone that thinks one can come up with an accurate guess it is usually to be self serving or a form of a pity party.

The problem with qualifiers that using them are always about putting ones preferences and opinions out there in lieu of any actual objective reality based knowledge our thoughts. For example here are my biases and negative judgments:

1) I think a high percentage (roughly 50%) of females calling themselves submissives or even slaves have zero interest in having any type of power exchange relationship but are really just looking for an alpha male with or without kinky sex in the bedroom.

2) I think a high percentage (roughly 50%) of males calling themselves dominant or master have zero interest or ability to be the dominant in a power exchange relationship and are really just looking for a woman that want a traditional role relationship with an open mind toward sex.

3) I think many claiming expertise regardless of role or gender in this life are clueless out of lack of experience or just not being into the power exchange aspects of people in a committed relationship. That their “expertise” is in the toys and scenes of top/bottom play in their local community. Those twenty years of teaching seminars and even writing a book on BDSM does not mean they know one thing about day to day power exchange.

But the fact is anyone of these people can in fact find their other in this life and call their relationship whatever the hell they like and more power to them. Just as they can with their personal preferences and opinions make a list of biases and negative judgments and come up with a guess at how many are what.

The hard truth is we do not really know because not all are on cyber let alone one site and certainly not all are involved in their local community. Plus every time one chooses to use qualifiers to weed out that is just a slippery slope that will always make one look foolish and conceded.