Seek out an Asian Bride?

If I truly want a more traditional and/or submissive wife should I seek out an Asian bride?

Anytime I have ever mentioned on a message board or even my time in local communities that I was born, spent great amount of time in and pretty much raised in Eastern culture I always get this question asked privately of course.

My basic answer is I do not think it is worth it or the best way to use your valuable resources of time, money and aging. First and foremost the reason every Google search will have, I am sure is you might never know if the person truly loves and wants to be with you or just wants citizenship or to soak you for money. I think someone with a level head can probably bend the odds heavy in their favor the woman will not be but you just would not know for certain in most cases.

Things I though would point out:

1) The typical Asian women is no more typical then the typical American women. So when you read Asian women embrace traditional roles that is of course a lie. It means a great higher percentage of Asian women embrace traditional roles. Think of it this way for an Asian to have good English skills and be open to wanting to move across the world might not have the highest percentage of Asian women that embrace a traditional role marriage, let alone has a submissive personality. Something like that takes great courage and rebellious traits.

2) Traditional role is a two way street. One of the biggest problems when people dream of a power exchange relationship is they tend to only think of what the other will be like in terms of the benefit of their role. People often fail miserably in thinking about, accepting and doing what will be expected of them. This is especially true for men seeking out traditional wives. The odds are you really are not a traditional husband and until you accept that and study up what that truly is then the odds are long.

3) Culture has differences in values including what is traditional. What you think is traditional and what an Asian woman thinks is traditional is not necessarily a perfect match. Study up and accept how she will be attracted and judge you and can you live up to that.

4) Do not buy into the fairytale. I doubt except for very wealthy and very social couples in Asian society are the women the fairytale always beautiful, concerned about being beautiful and always dressing in an attractive feminine manner. Asian women work and often work quite hard and long hours. They may very well be more willing to dress up for their man in many more occasions then Western women on the average but not 24/7365.

5) Old dogs will learn new tricks. Spend enough time totally in a different culture you will adapt a lot of that culture. My Dad at this point would rather eat at an American restaurant in Taipei then eat a traditional one with our relatives over there. Your traditional Asian bride will adopt Western culture in some ways and certainly some of those will not be what you are hoping for.

6) Are you prepared to host relatives for extended stays and contribute money back to her family? Even if they are absolutely not with you for money that does not mean if her family is in dire need that you will not be looked upon to help out. Asian families are fiercely loyal and supportive of each other. They take care of their own is not just talk, it is zealotry backed up. Also your home is their home. If your bride has a relative wanting to spend time in America or go to school and decides your city is the place for whatever reason forget getting them an apartment, it will be your spare bedroom. My Master was quite alarmed when we were back in Taipei for the wedding and a cousin’s son was peppering all of the family members living in America about which would be the best place to go to school.

Do I think there is a much higher percentage of Asian women who embrace/live a traditional role marriage, sure. But what you see as one and what they see as one can be completely different and the percentage of ones willing to move far away from home will be less then that percentage. An unhappy wife and relationship in any role or culture is not a happy one!